She had been doing the early labor stuff for days with Baby #4. I had been to her home many times to check in and see how she was doing. Her cervix was content to sit at 3 cm for days and days and days. She was getting very discouraged. We were fast approaching the “deadline” that is imposed by our state’s midwifery licensure regulations.
So, when she called me to report once again that contractions were picking up in intensity, we both wondered if it would fizzle out like it had so many times before. I asked her to get her watch and time them for the next 30 min. and get back to me. I also asked her if she’d be willing to have a half glass of wine, so she could relax and “let labor happen.” She didn’t have any wine in her house but sent her hubby to the grocery store to get some.
Three minutes later she called to report her water had broken and contractions were instantly kicking her butt. Hubs was still at the store. She’s alone with three kids. I could hear panic in her voice. I quickly told her to call her husband back and I flew out the door, got into my car and started the 25 min. drive to her house.
Two minutes later her husband calls…”She’s pushing! What do I do?”
I was dumbfounded! “Holy Crap!! I’m going to miss this birth,” I thought. So, I switched my phone onto Speaker and told Daddy to put me on speaker phone as well. I flipped my car flashers on and I hit the gas!! I admit that my adrenaline was pounding thru my veins! I was driving at times up to 100 mph, weaving in & out of traffic, honking my horn, etc. And the whole time, I’m talking this Daddy thru the process of delivering his baby.
“I see a head! OMG, there’s a head!”” Calm down C. You’ve got this. Is the head all the way out?”
“Yeah, heads out. The head’s out. It’s out”
“OK…Now I want you to slip your fingers in around the baby’s neck and feel for a cord. Can you feel a cord?”
“Yeah! Oh God! There’s a cord!”
“It’s ok. Relax C. Stay with me! Be calm. Now just slip your fingers underneath it and slip it over the babies head. Just like a rubber band. Slip it over C.”
“I can’t slip it! It’s too tight! I can’t slip it. Oh God, I can’t slip it”
“YES YOU CAN C. Relax! Take a deep breath and just get a finger underneath it and …”
“Oh wait! It’s not a cord. It’s a hand. I have a little hand in mine.” He’s crying and shouting and all kinds of jacked up!! I wish I had a recording of his voice at that moment.
The whole time I’m walking him thru this, I’m still speeding thru the night…giving him my destination so he can know how close I am to getting there.
His baby was born and in his wife’s arms within 8 min. of his calling me. It took me 14 min. to get there. I could hear my client laughing and cooing over her baby. I could hear baby crying and making all the right sounds. This baby was a gender surprise so I asked them to tell me what we have. They both started to giggle their heads off because the baby had been born several minutes and they still didn’t know what they had. Daddy shouted into the phone, “It’s a girl! Oh, we have another little girl!” By now, I’m almost there! I’m crying with happiness!!
But…I haven’t told you of the high speed chase. Oh My!!
Since I was breaking every speed limit and running red lights the entire way, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I piqued the interest of a City Police Officer. While I was about 10 blocks from my clients house, I saw blue lights flashing in my rear view mirror. I’d just run the last red light, and squealed my tires as I was taking a very sharp left turn. I did not obey the flashing blue lights and pull over. I just kept driving like a fiend. The officer switched on his siren. I kept driving. But this time, I stuck my arm out the window to flag him along with me. “Come on!! Follow me. I’m not pulling over,” my waving arm tried to say. Well…he got on his loud speaker after that and ordered me to “Pull the vehicle over”. I did not. I kept speeding down the street. The whole time I’m talking to my client’s hubby who can hear the siren thru the phone and their open bedroom window. I told him I wasn’t pulling over, I’d get my ticket later.
I pulled up in front of the new baby’s house, popped a tire up on the curb, slammed my car into park, and jumped out of my car. I’m racing across their lawn toward the front door, hollering at the officer. “I’m sorry I broke the law, Officer but I’m their midwife and they just had their baby.” He didn’t seem to hear me as he jumped out of his car and began to chase me across their lawn. Yeah… you read that right. I have a cop chasing me across a lawn in the dead of night. Blue lights flashing…my car’s flashers still blinking…
Baby Daddy opened the door to see all the commotion and I raced into the house, down the hall and into the bedroom. There lay Mama grinning like the Cheshire Cat, cradling a teeny, tiny little girl. I don’t know if the Officer believed me or not, but he tentatively poked his head in to see that there was in fact a recent birth. He asked if we needed medical personnel. I assured him that we did not.
Mr. Officer’s adrenaline was still slamming thru his veins as well, I’m sure. He was seething, sweating & red faced. He quickly pulled a business card out and snapped it to the Baby Daddy while looking me directly in the eye. He scowled and said, “I’m on until 6am. I had better get a call from you , Ma’am!” With that, he turned about and stormed out of the house!!
A couple hours later I called him. At that point he was very gracious and kind. He did not give me a ticket. Just a tongue-lashing! He explained to me that I may NEVER drive like that! “There are no laws or provisions in this state that allow you to drive like that, ever! Only medical emergency vehicles are allowed that type of driving. And in the future…when an officer tries to pull you over, take the 10 seconds it would take to pull over and explain the situation. We’ll then escort you in.”
It wasn’t until the next day that I was recounting the story to my family members that someone said I’m lucky I didn’t get a ticket for evading an officer. Or better yet…I’m lucky I didn’t get tazed when I jumped out of my car and “ran away from the cop.” Oh Dear!! Can you imagine?
But…honestly, I know me. I doubt I’d do anything different if this ever happens to me again. Besides, this little darling peanut was worth all the hullaballoo! She’s as cute as can be!!